At the risk of offending some people, I am going to share a positively hilarious blog post a friend sent me today. It was the Why My Netbook is Better Than a Baby post over at reasons i should not breed. I might have actually fully thrown my head back and laughed like crazy.
Not, of course, that I have anything wrong with children. I have actually worked for years in childcare and very much enjoy children. I can't wait to be an aunt, or for my friends to have children of their own. However, the choice to have children or not have children is a very personal, very huge and important choice. To many people make it because they "should" (you know, it's the next empty box on the great checklist of a "successful life"). Some people are flat out irresponsible and end up bringing unwanted babies into the world, rather than just taking the precautions--some of these children end up in the foster system, some remain with their birth families. Working in childcare, I have seen the extremes of both: the young parents who made a poor choice but got serious when they realized a new life was depending on them and turned out to be some of the best parents I met. The child who had been through tons of shoddy foster families who were in it for the money. The parents who maybe should have rethought keeping the child themselves. The children who were adopted by loving families who are the living proof that "family" is about more than DNA sharing. I've also seen tons of planned families, the good, the great, the less-than-ideal, the downright bad--none of which, by the way, have I seen to be dependent on economic status.
I think a lot of people who don't really want children have them because it's one life's "Shoulds". As a young woman who does not want children, I get a lot of questions, and a lot of judgements. And yet, I so rarely see people get judged for wanting to have children someday.
I have many reasons that I consider very good that fuel my choice. I have given it thought, time and time again, and I just don't want children. I'd be happy to share my reasons, if people were happy to listen. Instead, there's this automatic judgement factor: SOMETHING MUST be WRONG with me. No other explanation.
For the record: No, I don't have any bizarre biological anomalies that I am afraid of passing on or that will prevent healthy child bearing. No, I don't have mommy, or daddy, issues. No, I'm not mentally unstable. No, I am not single, and I do not have "issues" with my boyfriend. I'm not an alcoholic, a drug fiend or an uncontrollable party animal. I'm not afraid of getting stretch marks on my stomach (heck, it'd just match my hips and thighs then!), or of the pain of childbirth. I think I'd be a perfectly, passably decent parent, and I know my boyfriend would be an awesome dad. I'm not selfish (what a stupid comment, jeez) any more than the rest of the people out there, childless or not.
I just Don't. Want. Children.
And, in my opinion, that is perfectly okay. So hurrah for a woman who planned her blog on it!
Not, of course, that I have anything wrong with children. I have actually worked for years in childcare and very much enjoy children. I can't wait to be an aunt, or for my friends to have children of their own. However, the choice to have children or not have children is a very personal, very huge and important choice. To many people make it because they "should" (you know, it's the next empty box on the great checklist of a "successful life"). Some people are flat out irresponsible and end up bringing unwanted babies into the world, rather than just taking the precautions--some of these children end up in the foster system, some remain with their birth families. Working in childcare, I have seen the extremes of both: the young parents who made a poor choice but got serious when they realized a new life was depending on them and turned out to be some of the best parents I met. The child who had been through tons of shoddy foster families who were in it for the money. The parents who maybe should have rethought keeping the child themselves. The children who were adopted by loving families who are the living proof that "family" is about more than DNA sharing. I've also seen tons of planned families, the good, the great, the less-than-ideal, the downright bad--none of which, by the way, have I seen to be dependent on economic status.
I think a lot of people who don't really want children have them because it's one life's "Shoulds". As a young woman who does not want children, I get a lot of questions, and a lot of judgements. And yet, I so rarely see people get judged for wanting to have children someday.
I have many reasons that I consider very good that fuel my choice. I have given it thought, time and time again, and I just don't want children. I'd be happy to share my reasons, if people were happy to listen. Instead, there's this automatic judgement factor: SOMETHING MUST be WRONG with me. No other explanation.
For the record: No, I don't have any bizarre biological anomalies that I am afraid of passing on or that will prevent healthy child bearing. No, I don't have mommy, or daddy, issues. No, I'm not mentally unstable. No, I am not single, and I do not have "issues" with my boyfriend. I'm not an alcoholic, a drug fiend or an uncontrollable party animal. I'm not afraid of getting stretch marks on my stomach (heck, it'd just match my hips and thighs then!), or of the pain of childbirth. I think I'd be a perfectly, passably decent parent, and I know my boyfriend would be an awesome dad. I'm not selfish (what a stupid comment, jeez) any more than the rest of the people out there, childless or not.
I just Don't. Want. Children.
And, in my opinion, that is perfectly okay. So hurrah for a woman who planned her blog on it!
